Book Review: Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler

Synopsis:

The hilarious new book from the star of Chelsea Lately and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea .

Get ready for big laughs as Chelsea Handler lets loose with more comic personal essays. In this new, no-holds-barred account of life on the ridiculous side, Chelsea mines the wealth of material that is her family, her sex life, her career, and her distinctively outrageous worldview. Here is young Chelsea discovering "The Feeling" during a third-grade sleepover and getting shafted by clueless parents over Cabbage Patch dolls...and grown-up Chelsea at the mercy of the remote control, Lean Pockets, and Sex and the City --but still managing to convince her boyfriend that there are Swiss Army knives in the soles of her $16,000 shoes. Through it all, Chelsea never lets anyone off the hook, even herself, as she delivers page after page of irrevent humor, biting wit, and deliciously off-kilter entertainment.


Review:

If you're looking for a book that will keep you in horrified stitches throughout the entire experience than do yourself a favor and pick up a copy Chelsea Handler's hillarious collection of essays, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. Handler addresses issues such as her first time seeing male genetalia and her first time getting 'the feeling' in such detail that the reader can only continue on in guilty facination. Caution, some of the descriptions are rather graphic, so don't pick up this book if you get embarrassed easily because you will find yourself blushing!

Personally, I found Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang very entertaining and witty and would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good laugh on topics that most of us are too shy to discuss in our daily lives.

Overall, I would rate Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang an 8/10

xoxo
Abielle

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xoxo
Abielle

Book Review: City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

Synopsis:

When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder — much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Clary knows she should call the police, but it's hard to explain a murder when the body disappears into thin air and the murderers are invisible to everyone but Clary.

Equally startled by her ability to see them, the murderers explain themselves as Shadowhunters: a secret tribe of warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. Within twenty-four hours, Clary's mother disappears and Clary herself is almost killed by a grotesque demon. But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know....

Review:

New York City has never been more magical. The world that Cassandra Clare has formed is one that is unique and intricate, full of fantasy and mysterious beauty that surpasses many of her peers in the YA fantasy genra. Her characters are each uniuqe with very strong personalities that would be able to withstand a story of their own easily. Clary has become one of my favorite YA heroines of all time because of the inner strength and personability her character exhibits throughout the story. City of Bones opens up the world of the Shadowhunters and places the reader into a world that is full of ancient magic minus the cliches.

Clare's writing style is absolutely wonderful. The series has sort of a Harry Potter meets Buffy the Vampire feel and is able to captivate the reader from the very first sentence to the last. If you're the sort of reader who enjoys that emotional connection with your book, the one that makes your heart contract the moment you turn the final page, than I would highly recommend this series. City of Bones is a must read for any fan of YA fantasy.

Overall, I would rate City of Bones a 10/10

xoxo
Abielle

City of Bones Giveaway!

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xoxo
Abielle

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Its now 10:36pm on the fourth of July, America's Independence Day. I sit here after having just witnessed the most beautiful fireworks display I've ever seen pondering what that elaborate display stood for. How many people gave a single thought to the penning of the Declaration of Independence on this 234th birthday of our nation's emancipation? Has it really become just another 3 day weekend full of BBQs and fireworks?

I've included the first portion of the Declaration below. Please take a moment to read it and allow yourself to go back to that moment in time when our forefathers stood around a table and looked down upon a piece of paper that signified the beginning of one of the greatest legacies to have ever risen up upon this earth.

Freedom is a term that is used too freely these days. Use the remainder of this day to remind yourself of the sacrifices those men and women, both 234+ years ago and today, have made so that we can have "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Happy fourth of July everyone.

The Declaration of Independence (first two paragraphs only)

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

xoxo
Abielle

Seize the Day... Tomorrow

The best part about procrastination is that you are never bored, because you always have number of tasks that you should be working on.

Tonight instead of finishing the last 500 words worth of editing and revising on my current project I have decided to compile several lists of my 'Top 10's'. No... I'm not kidding, I love lists. Usually I make them on pretty paper with sparkly multi-colored pens, but unfortunately y'all will just have to settle for this boring ole type. :p

Drum roll, please... *makes cheesy noise and taps index fingers on Walter*

Abielle's Top 10 Books You Must Read Before You Die or Go Blind

10. Grimm's Fairytales by the Brothers Grimm

9. The Shining by Stephen King

8. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

7. Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

6. The Inferno by Dante Alighieri

5. Wurthering Heights by Emily Bronte

4. The Collective Works of Elizabeth Barrett Browning (yes, I count that as one book!)

3. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

2. Night by Elie Wiesel

...AND THE NUMBER ONE BOOK YOU MUST READ BEFORE YOU DIE OR GO BLIND IS:




1. Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi


Thanks for reading my random procrastination blog post! Off to be productive... or play with something shiny...